MY POSITIVES PORTFOLIO
DANIEL
(After a number of rewrites plus an accumulation and adding of other items. It was missing a few of the super big ones, as I was not yet "into" seeing and acknowledging positive things about myself. It seems incredible that I could have been so blind, so closed, and so negatively prejudiced against my own self!!!)
MAJORS
I literally have the capability of doing anything that any other man has done, though obviously I only have time to do a certain number of most valued ones. I can learn anything and I am rational and logical when I am refreshed and using my higher brain. (See System One And System Two, about engaging the higher capabilities.) I need only learn that which another person who has succeeded in something has learned and developed. I can also invent and create as well as anyone else when I am in a high state of resourcefulness. (What I have bolded is my mantra and my key affirmation statement, which I repeat now several times a day - and which has now become a part of me.)
Other than normal human errors, I was capable of doing anything but did not simply because I had allowed myself to continue in "insufficient knowing", where I had not learned what I needed to know to accomplish what was to be done, and I allowed false beliefs and fears to continue - and to get in my way. Whenever I was not immersed in those and was even temporarily free of them, I could be creative and very, very effective.
I had one key trait that I took on, where I wanted to grow and learn but was caught up in defending my "status" (smarts, IQ, self-worth), so I stayed more toward the crippling end of the fixed/defensive to open/growth continuum (but I didn't realize it - I thought I was highly growth oriented, but actually I just wanted it but often displaced growth in order to defend, be anxious, etc. I now understand what I was doing, especially what I was doing to myself. Although I learned much despite my defensiveness and acute anxiety (which is a defensive behavior), I remained stuck in many key areas that caused me much pain, even agony at times.
I can be an excellent example for others, as I am highly capable and want to engage in high-level, pro-social behavior. (I was held back by my unreasonable beliefs about myself and the accompanying anxiety that often disabled me, either partially or, at times, completely.) I now see that this is something I can and will do as a part of my mission of creating more good for mankind and those whom I come into contact with. It was very helpful for me to close the loop on my understanding of how some people I knew and admired thought and acted, but with my learning that they were simply human with limitations and non-perfected (though high) emotional control. (I interviewed them!)
I see that I am just human. I simply learned to think and act the way I did through inputs early in my life and the conclusions I came to. Such is the way we all learn. And we can do no better than what we learn on the path we are on. I simply did not learn or have an outside force enlighten me to not stay stuck in certain (traumatic) beliefs, emotions, and behaviors. Thank God that I now see this and have eliminated the "mystical", "magical", "not solvable" forces from my life - as they were all false. I have nothing to be guilty for (as I did the very best I could do at the level of learning I was at) and I see the false beliefs that are involved in "guilt." I see the reality of the mechanics of how life and our bodies and minds work and I now see through my old ideas of "and then a miracle happened" and of "super-heroes" beyond being human.
