A GRAND PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE
READ THIS FIRST, BEFORE EMBARKING INTO LIFE
ESSENTIAL FOR A GOOD LIFE
It is essential that one has a true and great perspective about life - certainly one better than the one learned randomly and from the culture (society, people)! This is my attempt at the "view from 50,000 feet up."
The problem is that we tend to see life in terms of falling short of some unrealistic expectations we set, most of which are preposterous. Yet we fear falling short, as if it were a survival threat (falling short of them), though there is no real danger there. And because we realistically will fall short of virtually any ideal, we spend our lives illegitimately feeling the undercurrent of "not good enough" (life and oneself) and believing somehow that life is hard. (No kidding! We make life hard by being fearful constantly of something, 99% of which are not real threats!)
In experiencing that life is hard, we collapse the whole future into a kind of anxiety about "when will I ever get there." (Though we are vague about where "there" actually is.) How common is it for people to say "I'll be happy when such and such happens", which means I won't be happy until then, at least in that regard - except that we have so many of the "not yet there" feelings that we are always short of what is "good enough."
WE HAVE SO INCREDIBLY MUCH - AND YET WE DON'T "SEE" IT
The truth about life is that it came about through an incredible miracle - of which there are various theories about how it did - but which is the right one doesn't really matter - all that matters is somehow we won the lottery of life-nonlife. And to have us survive, our bodies and minds have evolved to kick us into gear whenever there is a perceived threat to our survival. The problem there is that we have "made up" a whole bunch of threats and "made up" that we will not survive them (in a vague sense). Many of those where our primitive minds believe there is some sort of survival threat are not really about us dying, but only about us not being the best or being loved enough or being competent enough. If we clear up what is "enough" and if we clear up the fact that we are not actually subject to hardly anything at all if we are not loved, then over half of our fears actually disappear - of course, they were not legitimate in the first place, so the case is that we really saw through them and saw what they really were - just like in the movie A Beautiful Mind. (The other half, except for 1% or less, diminish or go to zero when we realize that what happens is really quite survivable and that we are more capable of adjusting than we think - the thinking simply must be done, in order to see this clearly and believe it!) Fear, like pain, is a part of life, but it need only be a small, passing part. The Buddha was right when he said "Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional." We basically "make up stuff" that isn't true and we create the suffering. (Read and understand th piece on that!!) With a correct, realistic view of life, we can be more like the Zebra. The zebra senses the lion, is "activated" by his alarm systems, runs like the blazes until he is safe - then he peacefully eats some grass, with the fear process completely over and all the toxic chemicals dissipated. In contrast, we create an irreality (unreality) of all sorts of fear stuff, including anticipation and worry and anxiety - all to our great detriment and hardly ever to our benefit. Those processes are not at all necessary. But we engage in them such that we create a constant stress from it, often with no real rest and rejuvenation.
UNCONDITIONAL HAPPINESS, YES
This site will attempt to help you create: an unconditionally happy life, where you are no longer concerned about fictional future pain and where you know you can create all you need for yourself, with no dependency on others nor on circumstances. It is very doable - you need only follow the steps. We will solve 80+% or more, together, if you do the necessary learning and the practices that are recommended - and, yes, we do address how "conflicting needs" cause a human to not do what is needed, to not change even when it is obviously beneficial - so you've must learn that piece and learn how to develop the associated skill (competency) to effectively change - note that the learning is entirely doable for anyone with a reasonably functional brain.
As adults, virtually all humans persist in maintaining some child beliefs - including all the people who range from the "powerful" person who strikes out in anger and misuse of force all the way to the person who is afraid of life - both are operating from fear and misunderstanding., but just have developed beliefs that have them behaving and feeling different from each other.
All beliefs were learned and all false beliefs can be replaced with true beliefs where the misunderstandings are corrected with more illumination (learning) and where learning has us be capable of devising new true beliefs. The fear that causes us to do what is inappropriate or feel badly unnecessarily is itself based on lack of understanding of how things work. Since most of all of this is, as all the great philosophies say, an illusion, we can have the illusion disappear with light (understanding, logic, facts) shined on it, as if we were teaching a child that, indeed, there is no bogeyman in the closet. The illusion consists of our misperceptions of "fact" and our made-up beliefs that are simply not valid in the real world - unfortunately, most of us, until truly informed, believe that our beliefs are "the truth" (of course we do!). After stripping away the "made-ups", fear only happens in legitimate situations, which are very, very, very few. And one must realize that it is not Pollyanna fake-positive thinking to appreciate the great mountain of haves in our lives - if we focus on that reality and see what we actually have, we will be happy. And don't be in doubt about this: that you must learn this as it is absolutely essential to happiness! We can also see that the reality of life is that we are guaranteed to have times where we get "undesired results" - and that we survive them just fine. If we fully understand this, we will feel virtually no fear or worry - and stop employing any of the useless practices that we have learned to believe will somehow scare off the bogeyman. Unfortunately, our practice of doing what is ineffective together with our still believing in the bogeyman only grooves the "bad feeling" more deeply into the mechanical brain. The bogeyman is the belief that we will crash in flames, be able to do nothing about, and that it will persist. (See The Skill Of Fearlessness - What It Is And Why It Is Doable.) One of the great relievers of a major false part of the game is to achieve the understanding of how the mechanics of the brain actually function and to achieve the understanding that the fake entities we invent as being inside ourselves or out there in the universe do not exist - nor do the brain's inept associations and threats really exist. (See The Believing Brain on why we make up such things.) This understanding gets rid of a great portion of the unnecessary pain or "feeling bad" in our lives - I emphasize the word "unnecessary" (= useless, having no benefit, but often having a cost we incur so that we end up being behind, for no legitimate reason).
Some of the items you must learn are, of course, part of "the build" - the accumulation of skills and understanding that accumulate (build up) to elevate life - and which are permanent.
Learning takes time, of course. So we also address some quick fixes that will make a huge difference in a relatively short period of time - and which will free up time and energy for you to do "the build" over time, as you focus on The Core Of Your Life (Just Maintain This And Your Circumstances Will Not Matter) and let go of the "other stuff" that has no long term value. And don't worry, this process of learning and building will not be strictly deferred gratification, as you'll experience many of the benefits as you go - and a huge amount of benefits over your life from what you will have built up in terms of knowledge and the capability to operate beautifully and effectively in life. (Those things that are at the true core of life are not subject to circumstances or people, but are truly buildable and long lasting.)
Many people proceed in life in a random and/or wishful thinking mode, hoping to be successful in making money, relationships, being happy, sports, etc., but they do not do nearly as well as they could if they simply followed the steps, the rules, the pieces that it takes to be successful in anything. You will need to follow the path to success.
"HOW DO I APPLY THIS TO MY LIFE?"
While you obviously have to do your part in both doing the work and in devising (or revising) a path, my desire in this is to facilitate (make easier) the process by doing as much as I can to set up the paths (programs, plans) that you can follow to get to the designated destinations, while enjoying yourself more along the way.
My objective is to create it so that millions of people will reach a very effective level in life, with happiness and peace of mind, such that they will affect the rest of the world toward the potential that there is in this world and in life.
SO, DO THIS...
Follow (and request what is missing) the programs, linking into and from these:
Returning as needed to keep your perspective on life:
I have this printed out separately and inserted in my Reminders Notebook, so I can regain perspective when I lose it.
MY GRAND PERSPECTIVE STATEMENT, FOR MYSELF
"I will survive until I don't survive, which only happens once. I do not fear death. (And consider that Life Is A Movie...And Then It Ends) The end is certain, so I just accept it - simply not knowing when it will happen. (Right after it happens, I'll be just fine, either being in heaven or just having my screen go blank - and definitely feeling no pain.) So I have no fear there.
I am not dependent on anyone, as I will survive just fine even if someone disapproves of me or rejects me - that is of no consequence for I can truly give to myself what I need. Of course, I'll probably have at least a few people who like me, so that'll be a bonus above what I actually need. Anyway, I need not fear disapproval by anyone, period. I am truly free and self determinate. I truly love and appreciate myself.
Yes, some things will happen in my life that are "undesired", but most of those are just about my not getting what I might want (prefer) - but I realize that I have a mountain of haves and I am simply in total abundance - especially when compared to the Caveman.
I have nothing to fear, as I will be as prosperous as I will be - but I'll always be "rich" and blessed with "the mountain".
Yes, I'll sometimes experience some actual physical pain, but it will pass and the memory of it will fade into the distance - all part of the bargain and well worth it - it will all net out to a giant positive net, after subtracting out the "feel bads".
And if something big happens that is a tremendous inconvenience, I know that us humans adjust psychologically (acclimatize, "habituate") automatically so that it is not experienced as being "that bad", plus I know I can make the best of the situation and that I can create something to be happy about, for I have so much and have been given such a gift.
And I know I will always be ahead.
I just go about life developing myself and my abilities to live my life and my increased ability to appreciate the experience of life. I build my core of life and I am invulnerable to people and to circumstances.
I am blessed."