MY TRANSITION TO WHERE I AM NOW
AND WHAT CAN BE LEARNED FROM IT
Could have been better if I'd had something available like what I am aiming for on this site, instead of random learning (though I did do some "right" things to steer me onto the right path - see courses and workshops I took along the way - See Background And Experience in About. )
In the Enneagram type determination (which sounds weird in name, but is extremely good in effectiveness and science), I as a clear #3, an Achiever. At a lower level of awareness, they are driven, try to look good, try to achieve to be loved, and will compromise on other values. But as one goes from the midrange to 7, 8, and 9, the Achiever becomes a role model and someone who contributes to others. I probably flirted with that level around 15 years ago, and am solidly in the 9 category, though not yet completely wise (but having lots of deeper insights and clarities!).
I can now glimpse a bit of what is meant by self-actualization as I'm climbing into it - and it already feels great! (See The Self Actualized Person.)
I am complete on having enough experiences and having lived more than a good life (despite some crappola) - and the gift of having more years left, and living solely in bonusland, rather than "notenoughland". (See How Much Is Enough?)
In Maslow's hierarchy, he indicates that we mostly cannot get to self-actualization until we have succeeded in satisfying our basic needs (food, shelter, safety, recognition, self esteem...). That seems to be true for me, as I have very little concern for my needs (as they have been met) and all I wish to do is to figure out how to contribute as great a value as I can for mankind and individuals.
And that is my challenge now. Yes, I do see the immensity of it and my primitive brain does cough up some dialogue patterns about it, which I sometimes don't rise above until I finally realize I have the power to correct the dialogue and not to take the crappola seriously.
Q. "But why don't you want to socialize with people more?. There are lots of nice people around here in this special (over 55) community." A. "Well, I don't really need approval from others, though I do feel friendly to people overall and enjoy them. I just don't get that much out of it (other than a few close relationships I choose to concentrate on). I'd rather work on my super-project and see what I can contribute to humans. What else could be of more value?" [Of course, I could be making a mistake here, but I've looked at this over and over, and I still come to the same conclusion.]
THE MISTAKES ALONG THE WAY
Of course, I coulda done alot more things better, but I did ok overall and great in some things. But the mistake was that I, out of fear and wrong beliefs, overemphasized certain things at the detriment of other things. Yes, I did learn some things about effectiveness, in my efforts to be a super-achiever, but I didn't do nearly as well as I might better have done in health, in relationships, and in "socializing".
[Not to bore you now with all the mistakes and what I've learned from them, some obvious and perhaps some profound lessons, I have set up a separate page for my own "reflection" and learning - so, at the risk of boring you later, I offer those on this page:
My Mistakes In Life - And What I've Learned.]
