As children, we invent ways to get out of being responsible, as we don't want to "look bad", since our being loved is vital to us as dependent, powerless beings.

However, many of us "grow up" but never examine the false belief systems (and ways of coping) so that the false beliefs can be corrected!  Consequently, those people end up living lives that are only a fraction of what they could be if they stepped up to life and lived with 100% responsibility

Here, for those who want to perfect the art is a litany of excuses, rationales, justifications, reasons why not.  (And that litany will have some valid points within it or at least some seemingly valid beliefs that they are based on - realizing that they are false is quite disquieting for the man.)

Recommended shortcut: Use a numbering system, as discussed in the appendix of this, so it saves time for each one and perhaps for giving a whole conglomeration at the same time. 


Check off which of the excuses and reasons why not that you use.

Avoiding responsibility

__ "It's not my fault."
__ "I couldn't help it, (usually using one of the following appendages)
    __ they made me
    __ they talked me into it.
                        I had to (I had no choice)
__ I didn't want to do it, but I couldn't help it. (One of the inventive but nonsensical ones!)
__ I'm too busy. 
    __ And I can't help it.
    __ So much comes up
    __ I just couldn't estimate right, as I am so helpless in this area.
         __ I just can't adjust and leave buffer time.  I just can't seem to manage this.

__ I'm too anxious (let me out of this, I'm out of control, but it's not my fault, as I am such a victim and so powerless and dependent)
__ It's the circumstances.  I am a victim of them.
__ I just couldn't turn him down - he's so persuasive
                                          he's a big authority
                                          I can't lose his support, I must...
__ My emotions are just too powerful
__ I'm so fragile and nervous and anxious right now, you should feel sorry for me and give me sympathy and reassurance and be nice to me. How dare you be so cruel to me (not spoken out loud, though).

Good intentions

__ I feel guilty about it (If I feel guilty, then that absolves me as it shows that I am moral and sensitive to that and that I intend well.)
    __ Better yet show that you are really agonizing over
         ___ that you are distraught over it
         ___ that you really, appropriately, suffering about it
__ It's because my parents/mother/father didn't do right by me, criticized me, didn't give me enough _______.
__ Well, I meant well.
__ Later, I'm too busy now.  I'll do it later.
    __  I'll make up for it.

Sluffing off

Getting angry with Don when he
__ Makes excuses (justifications) for never
    __ doing the work, but intending to
    __  having any time to spend with me
__ I promise I'll do (False, never followed through promises, sets up as an excuse or justification to get off the hook in the moment.
   __ I end up not following through 
__ Oh, I'm such a jerk (saying that without any forward progression to a solution, as it the mea culpa let the person off the hook!)

Getting off the hook for changing

__ It's hard to change.
__ It is just too difficult
__ I've tried everything. 
__ You just don't know what it's like to be this way.
__ It's impossible for me to change -
    __ I'm just this way
__ I'm not good enough
    __ I don't deserve better.

[Please contribute with more excuses, so that the litany can be perfected for those who want to really get good at it!}



The old joke:  A new prisoner came to the prison and a fellow inmate was showing him around and explaining things.  At lunch one of the inmates stood up and shouted "17!" and the crowd roared with laughter.  When asked what was going on the senior inmate explained that they had all heard the same jokes over and over that they just decided to make it easier by numbering the jokes, which saves alot of time.

So the new guy stood up and shouted "15!", but nobody laughed.  So he asked why.  The senior inmate just replied "Well, some people know how to tell a joke and some people don't!"  

So, how does this relate to the issue at hand. 

Well, such people as Daniel, just run off a litany of excuses virtually every time, instead of taking responsibility and moving forward into solutions.  He was a master at defending with excuses.  So, his coach suggested that he might save time just by using the numbers and especially using some of the numbers to indicate some great combinations of excuses. 

Almost anyone who is not successful in life could use a numbering system to save time and effort and to get out of being responsible relatively more efficiently. 


Notice that very successful people immediately recognize where they have done wrong and take responsibility for it and then engage immediately into a progressive dialogue to solve the problem!

The rule is to make no excuses, make no attempts at justifications, provide no reason why you didn't come through.  No one wants to hear that irritating, sometimes enraging, way of slinking out of responsibility and being such a victim!

__ Will you do your best to follow this rule, with no excuses for not following the rule.


Justifications, Excuses, Reasons-Why-Not "Begone!" - Allowing for Possibilities, Not Creating Impossibility