THE TREE OF BELIEFS
IDENTIFY WHAT TO MODIFY FOR A BETTER LIFE AND GREAT HAPPINESS
Some editing, but clear...
A belief is: "If...then...I'll get.... If it doesn't get what you want, it is an untrue belief and must be replaced in order to get more of what one wants in life. Simple idea. But few people do it - although it is essential/required in order to have a good life!!!
Get the idea of what is below - and then, I beseech you, go out and apply it for a much better life!!!
THE ANALOGY
Trunk of the belief tree - The core belief
Branch - Major offshoots, with smaller offshoots from it
Small branches
Leafs - Current thoughts occurring based on the underlying "truths" (beliefs)
The "tree" is a whole of connected beliefs, which must be seen in order to manage one's beliefs for one's true benefit.
THE TREE OF BELIEFS
The Derivative-Derivative Beliefs
↑
The Derivative Beliefs
↑
↑
The Super-belief
I am in danger and can't handle it.
↑
The Core, Driving Need
To survive (and at a "good enough" level)
THE "FIND AND VERIFY" PROCESS
It helps to identify what the structure of the tree of beliefs is in a particular instance.
Then it is necessary to (Duh!) determine which ones effectively serve for your benefit and which do not. The latter beliefs must, of course, be replaced with beliefs that truly do represent what is true and workable to get the desired result.
The end primitive "belief" is that I must survive. And below that is I must not feel "bad" too often. And some have turned that into I must create a happy life. The latter, of course, is a reasonable and attainable desire, for , indeed, the "purpose of life" is happiness.
I "KNOW" THAT IT IS NOT TRUE
A major mistake lies in assuming that we "know" enough to be able to stop or replace a belief. But in most cases, the belief we are addressing is only the tip of the icebergy, while 95% of the beliefs do not show up on the surface.
We mistakenly, unknowingly think that if a thought is in the higher brain that we "know it" - but there is a separation in all human beings where we (the higher brain, the actual "I") don't realize that the message and the training must be completed before the primitive mind (the elephant, or Lennie) will operate from it. We must clue the primitive mind into all that is needed, so that we can operate as a team, a unit headed the right direction and functioning well.
It is NOT true that you "know" something is not true, if the result shows up that you are still feeling bad (feeling uncomfortable, or feeling emotional pain, or misbehaving). If you are still feeling bad then you still do not see that the "tip of the iceberg" is not actually the last point in the chain of causes/beliefs. There is a belief that is overarching, that, rationally or not, tells us we are in trouble/danger/threatened.
If I say "if I am not approved by others I will not survive", that is obviously not true and at the very least an exaggeration. But sometimes we allow ourselves to believe ambigously in our mind that many situations cause catastrophic results - this is a failure to
GAINING CLARITY
The ultimate clarity that one needs to learn/decide/conclude is to identify what is actually not a threat to our survival or level of survival. Then one "let's go" of much of what is causing us to be unhappy. Once understood and " fully bought into", a whole array of fears disappears because we have disappeared the underlying false beliefs!!! (See Threats And "Fear" - Differentiating As To What Is A Legitimate (Real) Threat.)
And, then, there are a few "big things", but we can even weather those and still be happy. If we stop trying to avoid death, then we give up a massive amount of defensiveness that ultimately doesn't work, since obviously we all die and thus do not avoid death. Of course, the flip side, in a sense, is that we want to keep on experiencing life and happinesss as long as we can, however long that is. If you have no fear of death, your life is much happier. (See News Flash! You Will Die! Is That OK With You? Know this and life will be alot better!)
The next big thing that has a possibility is that you will be greatly physically impaired in some way. But it has been proven that even a paraplegic will return in one year to his normal happiness level. If you recover to the normal level, then you haven't lost anything in terms of the most important thing in life (emotional well-being, aka happiness).
EXAMPLE OF THE TREE FROM A PHILOSOPHICAL BELIEF
When one looks at the world and deduces that it is unsafe, then it is easy to believe that one is in danger and under threat all the time. The logic to connect those and the diligence to see what connected them (additional "beliefs") is what is missing if one is to see the flaws and be able to replace the old beliefs with valid ones.
If one has the logical thinking of asking what is the probability that I am threatened by events occurring "out there", even in other countries, then one might conclude that one is basically safe and unlikely to have a tiger or a terrorist show up on one's doorstep.
One's view of the world (which is part of one's philosophy) will therefore affect one's personal psychological beliefs (such as "I am not safe").
If one takes all the vague pool of beliefs about not being safe and looks underneath them in more detail, one will find that one can affect one's "feeling" (actually a belief resulting in a feeling) of being always "in threat" mode by developing a philosophy and clarity on about what in life is certain and reliable. In that way, one cuts down the number of uncertainties and thus the tendency to always feel uncertain and unsafe.
A philosophy of "I am certain that I will handle whatever comes up in life" will cause one to be relatively fearless. (See The Skill Of Fearlessness - this is very doable.)
Each element of philosophy is a set of beliefs (hopefully verified and valid). Each can be affected by certain rational exercises. I would recommend that you consider doing at least these two: Develop Your Positives Portfolio and do The Certainty Generators.
Without going on at length about this and providing lots more examples, you should understand why and how developing one's philosophy can create a strong foundation for a confident, well-running life. And then go do it, as vital to a good life: Formulating A Powerful, Practical Life Philosophy - Establishing The Vital Foundation For Happiness And Greater Life Effectiveness. (Note that this is a "big thing" and that you should therefore break it into levels and pieces to do separately. The first thing you should do is do a general formulation, one that isn't so good and is definitely not complete, by doing a broad overview philosophy limiting yourself to doing it in two hours or less - then fill in the pieces by following the list and/or the table of contents for your notebook.)
EXAMPLE OF AN EXTREME REACTION TO A "MADE UP" THREAT
"I am afraid of public speaking" is a common generalized fear. What is actually true is that there are several beliefs underlying that.
"If I do not do a good job of speaking, people will think poorly of me" leads to "if they think poorly of me, then I will not have their support in what I do" and "therefore, I will be severely impacted toward not getting what I want in life". "And if I don't get what I want in life, I will be a poor miserable wretch."
A number of people get quite upset beforehand (and during), at the same level of chemical reaction as if their lives are threatened, that their very survival is at stake. It is as if our inner Caveman was fearing expulsion from the tribe into the jungle where he will be eaten and not under the protection of the tribe. But that is obviously not the case as we look at it intellectually, so there is some "debeliefing" and redefining and reformulating to be done. We need to put together a new set of beliefs in the chain of causation so that we are relatively calm and so that we know we are not under any more than a mild anxiety type of thinking.
WE GET OVERWHELMED BY THE NUMBERS AND STRENGTH
If one is in a battle with the 'evil forces' that currently outnumber us, one must, somehow, figure out how to cut the number down, so that it is manageable. I have observed over time that I had become overwhelmed with the number of thoughts and concerns that came into mind. Though I could not battle with them all, or even "process" them, the only strategy left to me was to "knock off" one at a time (or even a whole branch if I could). I couldn't deal with them all at once, but I could handle one a time - and once that one was handled there would be fewer left in number until finally the size was cut down to what I could handle... (Read The Law Of Numbers And Strength - Pick On 'Someone' Your Own Size And/or Get Bigger!)
People are ignorant of reality when they say something like "I will simply decide not to do that anymore" (when "that" is something based on a number of beliefs) and/or "I will simply overpower it with my willpower". Wanna bet?!!! It just ain't likely to happen!!
And, then, if you succeed in cutting off a major branch from the tree, the smaller branches along that branch will die and wither away....
This process of changing and reformulating your beliefs might "seem like" it will take forever, but what actually happens is that we knock out certain beliefs that support other beliefs which support other beliefs so that if we knock the heck out of 10 or 20 beliefs, all the others disappear in a completely invalidated pile of wood and leaves to decay and rot away forever....
