OK, YOU ARE IN A NOT SO GOOD PLACE BECAUSE OF YOUR PAST
AND THE SIGNIFICANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE - NOW WHAT?
You then get two choices, decide to
1. Stay where you are.
2. Go on another path.
Which do you choose?
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WE "GET TO" HAVE A GREAT STORY OR...
So, you've just told the "story" about how you had such a terrible treatment from your parents and how others do so much better than you. You've really nailed the cause of where you are. You've now re-experienced your story and suffered from it a bit by repeating it again - the "ain't it awful" routine is a bit of a downer, for sure. And you've managed to groove it even more prominently in your brain, so it can be recalled more readily.
So, you've got a reason for being where you are now.
AND NOW?
OK, now what?
Do you want to perpetuate your "problems" by keeping on doing the same thing? Perhaps you'll get a payoff of being right, making someone else wrong, getting pity or sympathy, getting "understanding" (poor thing), reinforcing how helpless you are, etc.
If that is what you want, stop reading here. You've got it! And it will take no effort to keep on doing it. (OK, maybe it'll take some effort to repair yourself after the self-caused downers, which you've mostly attributed to other causes. But it'll be the easiest route in your mind, anyway, even if not in real life.)'
If you're not suffering enough to change, then surely you can choose not to change.
But maybe, just maybe, you might benefit from some change or at least have a chance of not contining...
BUT...
"But I am so damaged and so programmed, I can't do anything. I am so much worse off than that crippled, burnt guy because I have so many more factors that make me the way I am."
Oh, OK, then you want quit on yourself, for surely there can't be any hope. Right?
MAYBE...
But maybe you want to something positive. If so, which of these would you choose:
To do something positive:
1. while keeping on telling your story, or
2. drop your story
And if you pick a systematic program from the programs and/or the reading, you should have a relatively solid path to get more out of life.