MULTIPLYING ONE'S POWER AND ONE'S LIFE
OVERLAYING THE CIRCLES AND TARGETING THE CENTERS
Even without more skill per se, a person who realizes he must target closer to the center on each of these will have vastly more power over his/her life and accordingly have a disproportionately greater impact on the quality of his/her life.
Follow the sequence and then read the discussion.
Just as effectiveness declines precipitously as we go out further from the center (target), one's personal power and one's life quality go up geometrically as one goes back toward the center. If one overlays the three "circles", if one scores well in each toward the center of the circle, one's power (and thus one's life) goes up by multiplying the three factors times each other. If one is highly self responsible and independent at say a score of 90, concentrates on average in the circle of impact at 90, and only tries to control what he controls at an average of 80, then net impact compares to a person who is at 10 each is 648 times the other!
(Calculations: 10 x 10 x 10 = 1000; 90 x 90 x 80 = 648,000; the latter is 648 times more powerful than the other. While the scores are estimates for illustration purposes, clearly the idea is that there is a huge affect than is not just 2 time or even just 10 times but far beyond that, as all the factors budged even a little will when multiplied together have a much larger effect than one might originally project.)
If we learn to have no concern out there for what anyone thinks of us beyond where it matters, then we can concentrate on a very, very small number of people where it makes a difference. If we are more powerful and not merely dependent and sucking approval, then we will focus power out there to affect them more powerfully, which in turn strengthens the relationship. The center is, of course, yourself, influencing yourself by taking care of your emotional well-being and strength, which is the source of the energy part of power, and producing an impact a 1000 times greater than the next person out. Finally, it gets down to the people out there who might affect one's income and circumstances. And then friends, with some effect on you, but actualy not that much - they are just bonuses, not people we are dependent on (if we are operating at the center of the circle). There ends up being fewer than 10 people of reasonably significant concern, then a big drop off, with quickly what should be a score of 0 (other church members, acquaintances, etc. and etc.). Focusing on just a few over which you have more impact has you succeed more in life and it reduces one's anxiety dramatically, as we move from giving their approval some importance to zero importance.
COACHEE PERSON A
We are adding structure and control over your time aiming it toward what has more impact on what is important in your life. We are trying to push out that which is of low value and not let those further out from the center circle run your life with their demands - we want to pull the control in much more towards the center... While that, in and of itself, will reduce anxiety, the final blow to anxiety will be the learning how to align your belief with the reality of the world, which will dramatically lower your faux fears and the alarm system hypersensitivity and your anxiety.