WHAT DOES THE VALUABLE, HAPPY LIFE FOR YOURSELF LOOK LIKE?
SEEING THE PICTURE CLEARLY, SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE IT
Draft
BE EXPLICIT
While the goal is happiness (and satisfaction), we must be more explicit about what it takes in life to have true happiness.
Remember, all things in life happen based on cause and effect, in a "causal chain".
I do stuff to increase happiness
→ Maximum life happiness
I do stuff to reduce unhappiness
The great philosophers say the goals of life and producing happiness rely on practicing "the virtues". But we must make it clear that the virtues are only the way to increasing happiness or decreasing unhappiness - and are not "the goal".
EXPERIENCES
But right before happiness in the chain is what we experience in life that is of the most value to us: our current experience AND our "memory experience". In the latter, we recall something (even a conclusion about ourselves) and we experience happiness from it. What we want, of course, is the most happiness and we want to have it available to us to experience all the time plus, I think, even as a background to life, like a sweet background music but one of thoughts.
(Certainly we want to minimize or eliminate the constant background noise of negative chatter of the mind. We want to reduce the frequency of neuronal patterns containing negative feelings, which, as we know, pop up due to the associating of the circumstances with some content in the neuronal pattern. Part of that is reducing the negativity by correcting the neuronal patterns so that the negative association is no longer in the content. Part of that is training the brain to spot association errors, where things pop up that are not really rationally applicable.)
Managing our neuronal patterns, such as beliefs, is a key process along the way to happiness, as it permits us to reap more "good stuff," and less "bad stuff," from life.
So to get to the good stuff right before the happiness experience, we need to do all that is necessary to lead up to that - which is what this site is about (use the search engine for whatever your interest is). But in this piece we will be looking at what is it that we experience further along the causal chain to happiness.
THE MEANS ARE NOT THE GOALS
We forget along the way that the means are not the goals. The money is not the goal, but what we can do with it to add to our happiness and survival. Growth is not the goal, but it is one helluva means to the ultimate goal.
The ultimate goal is deep, unconditional, continuing happiness.
WHAT ARE THE NECESSARY CONDITIONS?
1. Feeling good about who I am.
2. Having the confidence that I can, and will, handle any situation and be able
to produce happiness no matter what the outcome. (Not resisting or
fearing outcomes, accepting the inevitability of not all favorable
outcomes.) (See Fearlessness.)
3. Considering life (and its pieces, the world) to have the right stuff available
for me to be able to use for my benefit. [Read Life Is Good]
4. An appreciation for what I have and the immensity of it. (aka "Gratitude")
WHAT ARE THE EXPERIENCES?
But in describing the valuable life I need to include the experiences that lead to happiness (or comprise it).
Yes, I experience life through filters (values, life viewpoints), but what are the components of the experience that produce life value? And, of course, part of eachMy experience is always in terms of feelings (sensations that are of a positive valence [value]). (See also What Is The Value Of Life Itself? What Do I Get Out Of it?.)
Feeling of love
Flowing love out to others (not the neurotic feeling of needing approval from others to have life be ok)
Feeling love from others (but not having to have it or being fearful about it, just appreciating the bonus)
Feeling of appreciation
Appreciating life, the great things and benefits of the world, of society, of how the human body and mind work.
Exploring new ways of appreciating the world and making finer distinctions in order to be better able to appreciate it.
Feeling of strength, capability, good survival
The good feeling (of the extra survival value) of discovering something that will be of benefit to me and/or to others.
The feeling from using a skill and being effective (evolutionarily based). The feeling is not only in the performance of it, but the knowing (memory) of it. (The development of actual competence is necessary here, as "affirmations" and such don't work sufficiently to carry the load or a 'lie'.)
Contributing, cooperation, social
Contributing to the well-being of others
Social interflow with supportive, positive people (feels good to be with other humans, chemicals!)
In the valuable life, I'm having good experiences from appreciating, loving, contributing, competence.
While we can enjoy examining life because of the good stuff we discover, that in itself helps us feel a greater survival ability (and the good chemicals related to that) - which feels good due to evolution.
The point is not that it is the examining itself that is the endpoint that we are looking for., but that the endpoint is definitely the result of the examining.
So, when Socrates says "a life unexamined is not worth living", he doesn't mean that the goal is to be an examiner or even to enjoy it. He means that if we examine life we can improve it and thus have a happier life. Every very happy life results from "looking at life", learning about life, examining what is true, deciding how to live life, and then learning how to do those things that work.
YOU MUST BE CLEAR ON THIS!
If you don't know where you are going... you'll end up somewhere else.
If it is not really clear, then it won't be as strong or as attractive.
This is a bit like the Carpenter's Rule, though vastly, vastly more important to do in this case: "Measure twice, cut once." (Mentioned in regard to finding a partner, selecting a career, planning, discerning truth, the learning curve, and effective problem solving - enter which you are interested in into the search engine on the sitemap.
